Learn All You Need From The Machine!

Who are you?

I'm a man from a highly advanced civilization selling shirts to the past to acquire enough funds to bring mass quantities of beer to a sadly sober future.

Where are you from?

A future Earth reeling in the ramifications of your present day foibles. Or, New Los Angeles, Minnesota.

Is your checkout process secure?

Absolutely. SpreadShirt and I have gone through painstaking work to ensure that no future time pirates jack yo' shit.

What kind of shipping costs are there in the future?

Well, I'm glad you asked. Click here for the long and short of it.

I have an awesome shirt idea, wanna hear it?

No and no. All the ideas for all the shirts in all of creation have already been used in the future I'm from. Now, I'm just reselling the good ones.